From The Tigher Mother to Chinese Dictatorship

Firstly, self-introduction. I am a boy who has been living in China for nearly 20 years. Actually, I was born in P.R.China and never leave it. If you see me, you’ll say “you’re a Chinese”. But I was just “looks” like a Chinese. Though I’m still a citizen of China, I deeply believe that I am an American. So I hope you can regard this passage as something about the tiger mother and the Chinese dictatorship that an American boy who has been living in China for 20 years wants to say.

My opinion is “the dictatorship which is deeply rooted into the bottom of the Chinese people’s hearts makes The Tiger Mothers”.

China is built on dictatorship, it’s not only in political, it’s in every cell of Chinese people. The Chinese parents think as parents they have undoubtedly and nearly unlimited rights to control their children. Yes, I mean “control” not “educate”. Chinese parents are always trying to control their children, although they think they are educating them. I think this thought is from the ancient China, the Confucianism taught people that a nation and it’s society should be controlled by the dictatorial empire. Which means the emperor has undoubtedly and unlimited power to control a nation and all the people should obey the emperor. The Confucianism also taught the emperor to treat the people good and make right decision to the nation. However, the problem is the emperor never thought he is wrong no matter what he did to the nation and the people, because according to the Confucianism the emperor have power to judge right and wrong. Chinese parents think they are the emperor and queen of their own family, actually the only civilians are their children(unfortunately, most Chinese parents only allowed to bear one child). They think everything they provide to their children is a bestowment, including food and respect. The only right of civilians, I mean the children, is appreciate. Complain is an inappropriate respond. The Chinese parents can accept venial complain, while they do not think complain is a part of right or a expected respond of their children.

Moreover, It seems that Chinese parents regard the achievements of academic grades of their children as their own successful, and, I don’t know why, they always intend to show others that their method of educate is the best mothod to educate a child. I meeted one Chinese mother who is similar with Ms. Chua, but not that extreme, her son is not as good as Ms. Chua’s daughter as well. She talked a lot about that she did good enough to her son but her son is still too terrible. Obviously she is not a good mother and her method of educate is a bad method, but she still insist it and she always talked about how will other people talk about her method of educate. Other people? Why? “Do you think that if your son can achieve a success that fit your standard, it can prove to other people that your method to educate your son is correct” I asked her. “Exactly! That’s what I’m thinking” She answered. I’m shocked about that! All the things she did, that nearly break her relationship with her son, are to show others that her method is correct (I must say that her method is not much different with others’). Unfortunately, a large amount of Chinese parents have this views of point, it’s horrible! More seriously, since there are a large amount of people educating their children in this way, there surely will appear some “successful examples”, just like Ms. Chua’s daughters. Those “successful examples” is a big encourage to those parents to insist or even enhance their method to educate, I mean control their children.

There is another behavior you can find on Ms. Chua that can show you the dictatorship of Chinese. Ms. Chua is trying to represent all Chinese parents or at least Chinese mothers. As far as I know, not all Chinese parents are so dictatorial, at least I have a pair of American-style parents (Thank God). Besides, some Japanese parents and South Korean parents educate their children in the similar way as Ms. Chua’s. But Ms. Chua use the title “Why Chinese mothers are superior” in Wall Street Journal. Apparently, she thinks that her method of educate is a good representation of Chinese-style education. In Chinese opinion, If they get some achievements, they will tell others that Chinese are great or Chinese mode is great. They are educated to get some achievements and then show others that Chinese are great. Furthermore, they will tell others that they are special cases of Chinese if they fail. I originally thought this is the consequence of brainwashes that communist party did to Chinese people, but after I know Ms. Chua, I realize that I am wrong. Maybe it’s Chinese people taught the communist party to do so. Anyway, I don’t think it is strictly appropriate to represent others without an authorization.

Finally, I want to notice you that everything I wrote in this article is my opinion. Maybe the Chinese people do not mean to act in such way, but the consequences they made make me think they have such intention.

Written by Abraham Zodick, in China

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